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WALLS OF SILENCE
SECTION 9 TITLE 9.2 THE PROFILE AND PATTERNS OF AN EMOTIONAL ABUSER: ADULT GROOMING UNVEILED
By Amani Chiari
Subpart 1. Introduction: Call To Action
It is difficult to imagine a more dangerous combination for an abuser like Rick Newmann than unmonitored control over apartment management and maintenance in a secluded rural location. This individual is an extremely dangerous predator, as evidenced by extensive personal experiences and corroborating video testimony. Bringing Rick Newmann, his funders, his allies, and his actions into public awareness is a vital public service. Based on a 13-month rental ordeal and the video testimony of an alleged victim, Tenant Sandra—who asserts there are additional victims—Rick Newmann is demonstrably a threat who should not be in proximity to the public, particularly without being registered as an offender.
As someone with substantial life experience and a history of fleeing sex traffickers, I can unequivocally state that Rick Newmann stands out as the most dangerous sexual predator I have encountered. This claim is supported by overwhelming evidence, including video, photographic, and documentary proof, all of which I have provided in a sworn affidavit. If swift and systematic action is not taken to protect current and potential victims by initiating civil and criminal proceedings against Don Klyberg Real Estate and its employees, Rick Newmann and Anthony Anderson (a possible victim of Newmann), the failure will rest squarely on the system’s shoulders.
Newmann’s behavior aligns disturbingly with profiles and patterns of abusers as described by experts. For the past 13 months, I have been a targeted victim of Newmann’s abuse, rendered especially powerless due to his position of authority as the onsite property manager for Don Klyberg’s 14-unit rental property. Newmann wields unchecked control, with exclusive access to master keys and surveillance cameras. This imbalance of power has created an environment ripe for exploitation, underscoring the urgent need for accountability and justice. I do feel safe; not in proximity to Newmann and not in a City that has not only failed to notice him prior to my encountering him considering Don Klyberg’s registered history of slum properties but has aggressively insulated the continuance of Newmann’s abuse through racist microaggressions and unresponsiveness to multiple victims.
Subpart 2. What Is Adult Grooming
Adult grooming is an insidious, deliberate process in which a manipulator (the groomer) targets another individual to build trust and emotional connection for exploitative purposes. This may include financial manipulation, sexual abuse, the exercise of control, or other forms of exploitation. Adult grooming employs similar psychological tactics as child grooming but adapts them to exploit the unique vulnerabilities of adults.
Grooming is a predatory act that masquerades as love, care, or friendship. Below, we outline the common acts and patterns groomers use, along with definitions, to help readers recognize and protect themselves against this form of emotional abuse.
Subpart 3. Victim Targeting and Profiling
Definition: Groomers identify potential victims by observing their behaviors, vulnerabilities, and social connections. They often choose individuals who seem isolated, trusting, or seeking validation.
Subpart 4. Trust-Building Through False Promises
Definition: Groomers deliberately use charm, overt attention, gifts, or promises of a better future to gain their victim’s trust. This stage is designed to make the target lower their defenses.
Subpart 5. Mirroring and Love Bombing
Definition: Groomers often mirror aspects of their target’s background or personality to create the illusion of a deep, special connection. Love bombing—excessive flattery, attention, and praise—is a common tactic to quickly establish trust and emotional dependence.
Subpart 6. Identifying and Exploiting Needs
Definition: Groomers assess their victim’s emotional, financial, or social needs and appear to fulfill them. This "need-filling" cements the false impression that the groomer is indispensable.
Subpart 7. Desensitization and Boundary Erosion
Definition: Through gradual desensitization, the groomer breaks down the victim’s normal defenses and boundaries. This may involve slowly introducing inappropriate topics, behaviors, or actions to normalize the abnormal.
Subpart 8. Isolation and Complicity
Definition: Groomers work to isolate their victims from friends, family, or support systems. This can be physical or emotional, such as creating a private world filled with secrets. Victims may also be manipulated into complicity in their own exploitation, making it harder for them to speak out later. See Anthony Anderson
Subpart 9. Gaslighting and Emotional Control
Definition: Groomers use gaslighting—manipulating someone to question their own reality or instincts—to establish control. This psychological tactic ensures the victim feels dependent on the groomer for validation and clarity.
Subpart 10. Intermittent Reinforcement
Definition: The groomer alternates between positive and negative reinforcement, creating a cycle of dependency. Praise and affection are interspersed with punishment or withdrawal, keeping the victim off-balance and more easily controlled. See Tenant Sandra
Subpart 11. Punishment and Withdrawal
Definition: Groomers may use punishment tactics, such as ghosting, the silent treatment, or emotional withdrawal, to train the victim to comply with their demands. These actions establish dominance and instill fear of rejection.
Subpart 12. Traumatic Conditioning
Definition: Through acts of verbal abuse, explosive anger, or intimidation, the groomer conditions the victim to avoid confrontation or contradiction. Even a single traumatic incident can make the victim fearful of displeasing the groomer.
Subpart 13. Normalization of Abuse
Definition: Groomers normalize their harmful actions by framing them as caring, protective, or necessary. Victims may begin to rationalize or minimize abusive behaviors as a result.
Subpart 14. Exploitation and Control Maintenance
Definition: Once the victim is fully dependent, groomers exploit them to achieve their goals, whether sexual, financial, or otherwise. They often maintain control through fear, guilt, or a distorted sense of loyalty.
Subpart 15. Recognizing the Intent Behind Grooming
Groomers rarely enter a relationship with pure intentions. Instead, they craft a façade of love or care while pursuing hidden agendas such as financial gain, sexual gratification, or power. Had the victim been aware of these ulterior motives, they likely would not have consented to the relationship or actions that followed.
Subpart 16. Grooming Behaviors Explained
A. Positive Reinforcement: Lavish praise, gifts, and attention create emotional dependence.
B. Negative Reinforcement: Threats, guilt trips, and intimidation keep the victim compliant.
C. Intermittent Rewards: Alternating affection with withdrawal ensures continued pursuit of the “good times.”
D. Trauma Bonding: Abusers use fear and emotional manipulation to create a deep, unhealthy attachment.
Subpart 17. The Impact of Grooming on Victims
Victims of grooming often experience profound shame and regret, believing they "allowed" the abuse to happen. This self-blame can delay recognition of the abuse and discourage seeking help. It is crucial to remember: Grooming is never the victim’s fault.
Groomers often fail with other targets before finding someone vulnerable to their tactics, refining their methods over time. Recognizing these patterns can help potential victims safeguard their boundaries and avoid entrapment.
Subpart 18. A Call to Awareness
Grooming is predatory, manipulative, and devastating to those it ensnares. By understanding these patterns, we can better identify the warning signs, support victims, and hold abusers accountable.
Remember: Awareness is a powerful defense. Grooming thrives in secrecy and confusion; shining a light on its tactics is the first step toward breaking free.
Subpart 19. Recognizing the Signs of a Grooming Victim
Grooming is a deliberate process of manipulation, often subtle but deeply harmful. Being aware of the following signs can help you identify if someone may be a victim of grooming:
A. Emotional and Behavioral Changes: (a) The person may become withdrawn, troubled, or reluctant to share what’s on their mind. (b) Alternatively, their emotions could become unusually volatile or unpredictable.
B. Unexplained Possessions: They might start using or wearing new items that you didn’t provide or are unable to explain where they came from.
C. Isolation from Loved Ones: Groomers often work to distance their targets from their support systems. If the individual seems hesitant to see you or refuses visits, it could be a sign of external manipulation.
D. Financial Irregularities: Look out for unexplained withdrawals or disappearing sums of money. They may also struggle to pay for essentials like food or bills without a clear reason.
E. Increased Secrecy Online: The person might spend more time online or on their phone, avoiding disclosure about what sites they visit or who they’re communicating with.
F. Mentions of a New Companion: They may begin talking about a new “friend,” “boyfriend,” or “girlfriend” whose identity and origins are unclear.
G. Sudden Ideological Shifts: Grooming can sometimes lead to radicalization. In such cases, you might notice a sudden, intense interest in an issue or cause that previously held little appeal to them.
These signs, whether seen individually or in combination, can indicate that someone is being groomed. Remaining vigilant and taking action when something feels amiss is critical to protecting vulnerable individuals. (Davies, 2019) (Campaign Against Adult Grooming, n.d.)
BIBLIOGRAPHY
(n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/protecting-children-from-sexual-abuse/202108/how-coercive-abusers-engage-in-sexual-grooming
Campaign Against Adult Grooming. (n.d.). What is Adult Grooming? Retrieved from Campaign Against Adult Grooming: https://www.caage.org/what-is-adult-grooming
Campaign Against Adult Grooming. (n.d.). What is Adult Grooming? Retrieved from https://www.caage.org/what-is-adult-grooming: https://www.caage.org/what-is-adult-grooming
Davies, E. (2019, May 16). Signs of Grooming in Adults – What to Watch Out For. Retrieved from Ann Craft Trust: https://www.anncrafttrust.org/signs-of-grooming-in-adults-what-to-watch-out-for/
FOSTER VA. (n.d.). RECOGNIZING ADULT GROOMING BEHAVIOR & TAKE ACTION AGAINST IT. Retrieved from FOSTERVA: https://www.fosterva.org/blog/what-is-grooming-behavior-by-an-adult-and-how-to-prevent-it
KMD LAW. (2023, FEB 23). What is Grooming in Adult Relationships? Retrieved from KMD LAW: https://www.kmdlaw.com/blog/2023/february/what-is-grooming-in-adult-relationships-/
METROPOLITAN POLICE. (n.d.). GROOMING. Retrieved from METROPOLITAN POLICE: https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/gr/grooming/
Ph.D., E. L. (2021, August 26). How Coercive Abusers Engage in Sexual Grooming. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/protecting-children-from-sexual-abuse/202108/how-coercive-abusers-engage-in-sexual-grooming
Sreenivas, S. (2022, October 3). What Is Sexual Grooming? Retrieved from Webmd: https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-sexual-grooming
STATE OF CONNECTICUT . (n.d.). FACT SHEET. Retrieved from State of Connecticut: https://portal.ct.gov/-/media/dcf/gtf-cja/hb-6113/grooming_connecticut-safe-sport-policy-child-abuse-prevention_digital.pdf/
Survivor UK. (n.d.). Common Feelings & Effects That Survivors Experience. Retrieved from Survivor UK: https://www.survivorsuk.org/resource_articles/grooming/
Suggested Reading
SECTION 9 TITLE 9.0: PROFILE OF AN ABUSER: A GUIDE TO VIOLENT OFFENDERS SOCIOLOGY PATTERNS AND ACTSSECTION 9 TITLE 9.1: A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO RECOGNIZING PATTERNS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Color-Coded In-Article Highlights Guide
Abuse Type / Highlight Purpose | Color | Meaning & Awareness Context |
Sexual Harassment | Teal | Widely recognized color for sexual violence and harassment awareness. |
Emotional Abuse | Yellow | Yellow symbolizes emotional abuse awareness; used in mental health advocacy contexts. |
Domestic Violence (Physical/Coercive) | Purple | Official domestic violence awareness color; symbolizes strength and survival. |
Acts Against Additional Victims | Orange | Distinct from the main victim, orange signals related but secondary harm; used in social justice campaigns. |
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